Last week we invited Museum Mouth to answer questions supplied by readers and fans in the first of what we hope is a continuing thing called Ok Advice.
This first round featured some good ones, and some not good ones (looking at you weirdo who asked about trimming pubes), and the band supplied some insanely lovely answers! ANYWAYS HERE'S OK ADVICE WITH MUSEUM MOUTH'S ANSWERS! p.s. while you read listen to their new single!
Joey - What has been your favorite tour that Museum Mouth has been on?
Kory: This isn't asking for advice!!
Karl: If you’re gonna go on tour do it with Say Anything, mewithoutYou, and Teen Suicide. That tour was amazing. It hasn’t even happened yet but it’s already my favorite.
Graham: I've only been on two because I'm a boring idiot. I had a ton of fun on the tour we did with Astro Cowboy. I love Travis and Kam. Kam slept all the time so it was like touring with a baby. He'd wake up and be hungry, and later on we'd have to tell him to go get something to eat or else he'd be hungry in an hour. Easiest baby to care for hands down. If you're gonna have a baby, have Kam.
Anonymous - Karl will you marry me?
Kory: The best advice I can give here is this. Karl, don't marry strangers.
Karl: I do.
Ally - I feel like Museum Mouth has gone through like a million lineup changes? I know that's not really a question but I was hoping you could at least explain it a little.
Kory: Dear Ally,
Someday you might think "I should start a band." Then you'll go find your tallest friend and you'll say "You could probably play guitar!" You'll teach your tallest friend every power chord you know. Unfortunately you'll move away from your tallest friend but you'll still want to keep him around because he is working on his literature degree and you need someone to edit all your important documents. I'm sure you know what to do from here but for the sake of completeness I'll spell it out. What you're gonna do is make sure your tallest friend is still playing that guitar. You're saving his tallest shreds for later, when he's emerged from the collegiate cocoon of correct punctuation. In the meantime, you still need a few people to play guitar. Obviously, you're going to enlist some shorter people named Kory (or Corey, the spelling doesn't matter). Don't enlist too many as Ckoreys tend to wake up hangry and will undoubtedly throw up at some point. Now, you've got a tall friend to play guitar, a few Ckoreys to play bass and/or guitar when the tallest is absent, and you've got yourself to do literally everything else.
Best of luck,
Karl: What Kory said.
Graham: We’ve only had one real lineup change and that was when Savannah left and Kory stepped in on bass. We've had auxiliary players every now and then in the past 6 years. I have no idea what goes on in this band.
Biff - How do you handle all of the groupies on tour? It must be exhausting, right?
Kory: Dear Biff,
The groupies are constant! It's not just on tour, my friend. It's every single day I spend with Karl. It's never ending with him. We gotta take a groupie because the lighting is pretty. We gotta take a groupie because we had hair that day. We gotta take a groupie because snapchat has a filter that makes you smell good. 3 years ago it was just a one-man show, "selfies" we called them, but now that Karl has to put all of us in the pics we can barely sleep without someone taking a groupie. For your own sake, avoid the exhaustion of groupies and fly solo with a selfie.
Best of luck,
Vero - Diet Coke or Coke Zero ?
Karl: I’m allergic to water I only drink Coke.
Graham: Think of one as a healing fountain, and the other as hearthing back to your base. There is an appropriate time for each. Assess the scenario and choose.
Kory: Live ya life!
Travis - How do I change a tire?
Karl: Okay, in my experiences changing a tire is HELLA EASY. If you have a spare tire it’s more than likely in the trunk of your vehicle, so start by opening the trunk and taking out the framed picture of a hot guy covered in meat you forgot you owned.
After that the next most logical thing to do is call your super handy roommate to come do the rest for you. If you’re too proud and/or hell bent on learning MAKE SURE YOUR PARKING BREAK IS DOWN BEFORE ATTEMPTING TO JACK UP THE CAR. You’ve got this I believe in you. I also believe in AAA.
Alex - How do I find a boyfriend who likes Museum Mouth?
Graham: GOOD QUESTION
Karl: GREAT QUESTION
Kory: Karl's favorite band is Museum Mouth. Do you have nice arms? Do you like to dress like trash, but really cool trash with nice arms? How far can you throw a wheelbarrow?
Anonymous - Where can I find a dog as cute as the one pictured with you three? Which band member's dog is it?
Graham: That dog is an anomaly. I have seen no other dog like it.
Karl: Awh! Her name is Vida and she’s actually my friend Kaitlin’s! I was babysitting her when we took that pic. Definitely adopt a pup from a shelter tho, shelter dogs are the cutest, sweetest, most deserving dogs, and it’s the easiest way to feel like you’ve made a positive difference in this world.
BDIDDY - What made you choose your cover art? Also Happy But Not Sexy was Graham, right? So Karl logically you're up next?
Kory: Dear BDIDDY,
How high were you when you asked this question? Graham is the baby on the cover of Sexy But Not Happy. Funny enough Karl is the man in the snorkeling mask on the cover of Alex I am Nothing. So we got Graham on LP2, Karl on LP3, and me on LP4! :D
Karl: The cover art idea came from the weird sort of surreal feeling I had the whole time we were writing these songs. My life was changing so much and so drastically from 2013-2014 and a lot of it was unbelievable “””typical story arc””” stuff that’s recognizable from movies and books and shit, it felt like my brain was floating outside of my body and over my head watching all this ridiculous stuff going on. And it was Kory’s turn to be on an album cover which I guess was fate cuz I know he digs these songs more than any of our older stuff.
Jody - So uhhh, saw a mention of Digimon so I'm gonna ask, what's your favorite Digimon? I gotta go with Zudomon, myself. This is going to be answered by Karl, isnt it, I can tell.
Karl: Zudomon rocks! All of Gomamon’s digivolutions rock! Gabumon was my favorite from the show, but I think Terriermon and Gargomon are my all time favorites! Also hi Jody!
Graham: Bakemon lose your power. Bakemon lose your power. Bakemon lose your power. Bakemon lose your power. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWcfa6bsC_E
THEY SEEM ME LANE'N - Recommend a Heroes of the Storm melee character with burst DPS? Prefer assassins.
Graham: Um. Kerrigan? Kerrigan. I've always had pretty good results with Kerrigan. Granted she's the only assassin I played as for months. I find her especially effective when it comes to destroying enemy morale. You jump on someone, and they're like holy crap this purple monster in dope heels is impaling me with these bony wings oh my god get me out of here, and they start to run but then you use Primal Grasp and they're sucked back into the Melee Cone of Death, and they're really desperate at that point and not trying to damage you at all. Unless you're fighting Diablo or Stitches or something. Fuck those guys. For the record, I'm the wrong person to be answering this.
Karl: I’m an even wronger person to ask cuz I only play as Tychus cuz he’s hot, and Zagara cuz she’s hot AND powerful.
Kory: Dear Lane'n,
The two heroes that come to mind for DPS are two of the most hated. Nova and Zeratul will always be hiding and waiting for you to take a few steps too far from your buddies. Then BAM! Some invisible fools have just showed up and kicked your ass. Those two definitely deal the most DPS the fastest but they are very fragile. Though, Nova is not melee. Another more resilient option could be Kharazim. He's intended to be support but he can take a hit and if you hangout in the middle of your team waiting for someone to get too close you can teleport to them and deal a nice amount of damage. Just make sure your team doesn't bail on you!
fartingallthetime - What time it is?
Graham: You've got a few options. It's either time to do your taxes, time to go buy that album you keep meaning to (e.g., preorder Popcorn Fish Guinea Pig), or it's fart o' clock. Since you're already doing the last option all the time, I'd recommend one of other two. It's up to YOU to decide what time it is. Crazy, right?