Welcome to TGE Recipes, a place where our favorite bands share the secrets straight from their kitchens. Think your favorite Food Network show except on a purple blog. Today we welcome Benjamin Shaw.
This is one of those special recipes for when you’ve had enough and you definitely don’t want to talk to anyone ever again.
It’s easy, I promise. I mean, nothing special, but it’s gonna get you through. Just one pot too. I recommend a good deep one so you can fit plenty in, but also one that’s totally non stick. I mean it, this is important. There is nothing more stressful than trying to chop mushrooms while your onions and garlic are sticking and burning and getting fucked up in the pan. That kinda thing makes the whole process shitty. Also, you can go and have a nice cry for a few minutes whenever you want, and not worry about your beautiful stew burning.
So, deep AND non-stick. Nothing by Jamie Oliver though. Fuck that guy.
Can of mixed beans
Can of lentils?
Herbs? (Dried to go in while cooking, or fresh parsley or cilantro to sprinkle on after)
Coconut yoghurt or humus or something
Bread, if you want. (or spinach and tomatoes is nice too, just dump a bit on top when in the bowl)
A squeeze of lemon?
Chop your onions and fry them in some oil (olive or coconut, go wild).
Chop your garlic while the onions are cooking. Loads of garlic. All of it. It’s good for keeping away colds and vampires. Put it in.
Chop and add your other veggies. Today I am adding eggplant, mushrooms and brussel sprouts, because they were at the shop at the same time I was. Oh, i’ve got a potato too. I’ll add the sprouts last cos I don’t like them mushy. Probably the potato first and chopped tiny so it cooks quicker. Go for different colours. The more colours, the more nutrients. You need this to live. Add much more garlic here. Stir.
OK, here’s the good part. Spices! Honestly, if you’re not British you should have some already, but if you don’t, go buy a few, all dried and ground is the best for us - it’s cheap and keeps for a while so you don’t need to worry about killing fresh stuff. No pressure. Today I have Cumin, Coriander/Cilantro, smoked Paprika and Fenugreek. I swear just add like a teaspoon of each of whatever you’ve got. It’s nice. You’ll get used to what you like. Paprika and fenugreek are pretty strong so i’d add half a teaspoon of those instead in this. Ginger and turmeric are nice too. V good for you. (Turmeric is strong though, and goes a long way, so go just a wee sprinkle to begin with)
Add like half a cup of water so the spices don’t burn up all dry. Keep stirring all the spices in with everything.
Turn the heat down so it doesn’t get too much
Add a veggie stock cube. Is nice. Mix in.
I like adding some lemon juice here too. Why not, right? And some black pepper.
Add your beans or lentils. Or both if you’re feeling crazy and want to make more to freeze for later.
Cook for a few more minutes until it looks alright. Maybe it looks too dry so you add a bit of water. Basically make it look like what you like a stew to look like. dry or soupy, doesn't matter. Easy.
Taste it. It’s hot, be careful. Add some more salt if needed (some nice sea salt or himalayan or something, none of the cheap shit your mum used to buy, we’re not animals), do the potatoes or whatever feel cooked? Add some chilli flakes?
Ok, put it in a bowl. You can add some bread/toast here, especially with some olive oil on there, it’s pretty nice.
Add a spoonful of something nice and creamy here, like coconut yoghurt or hummus or something. And some parsley and olive oil or nutritional yeast flakes. Honestly this is your chance to shine. Live your best life.
Have a rest. A deep breath in through the nose and out slowly through the mouth. I hope this wasn’t too horrible.
Please eat and love yourself. You done good.